What if not having kids is not the lack of something, but the presence of something else? What if having and not having children are equal in the weight of their experience, only different? This simple concept shook me, not just because it presented an alternative that finally felt worthy…
Emily J. Smith
I think I can speak to both sides of this. I never really wanted children in general. My husband did and I dutifully went through the fertility tests and treatments but it didn’t work out. I was actually somewhat relieved, though I wondered if something was wrong with me because I was relieved. It seemed abnormal not to want children.
Then, when I was 39, I met my child in an unusual way. I will be publishing about that soon. The short version is he appeared, I fell in love with him, and all of a sudden I wanted a specific child. He was my four-year-old friend before he became my five-year-old child.
Sometimes you don’t know you want a child until you meet that child.