Ida, I’m glad to know you understand. When my husband blows up after I’ve said something he’s misinterpreted as criticism or lack of trust and I realize he’s not rational but thinks he is, I just don’t say anything until he has calmed down. Then he usually apologizes after he realizes in hindsight that his words hurt me. Then we try to discuss what happened. I try to avoid triggering these outbursts, but sometimes I’m tired or distracted and say what I’m thinking without running it through my inner editor.