Ida, I’m glad to know you understand. When my husband blows up after I’ve said something he’s misinterpreted as criticism or lack of trust and I realize he’s not rational but thinks he is, I just don’t say anything until he has calmed down. Then he usually apologizes after he realizes in hindsight that his words hurt me. Then we try to discuss what happened. I try to avoid triggering these outbursts, but sometimes I’m tired or distracted and say what I’m thinking without running it through my inner editor.

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Christian, bereaved adoptive mom, blogger, amateur nature photographer, voracious reader. Married 54 years. Central Coast of California.

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