I’m so sorry. I can relate to this. I had a beautiful estranged daughter. She moved out of state and we hadn’t seen her for 14 years when we got word she was dead. She had wanted to be buried at home next to her brother who had died in an accident 14 years earlier, so her partner, who couldn’t even afford to come to a service for her, told us her wishes and we flew her home to California from Texas. We lived a long way from the mortuary and a graveside service was planned just for family.

My brother, who lived closer, went to see her in the mortuary to make sure her jewelry was intact, etc. Shortly after he arrived and took a couple of photos of her in the casket ( which we had not requested), they came to carry her to her grave. He followed and took photos of the burial process that usually goes on after the mourners have left. She was buried a few days before the actual service.

I appreciated seeing the burial pictures, but the ones taken in the visitation room blew me away. They looked nothing like the daughter I remembered. She had been beautiful and slim and could have been a model. In the casket she almost looked fat. Probably bloated. I wished I had never seen those photos, but I can’t make myself delete them from my computer. I can never delete them from my mind.

Christian, bereaved adoptive mom, blogger, amateur nature photographer, voracious reader. Married 54 years. Central Coast of California. https://barbrad.com

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