Has our more mobile lifestyle changed the way we mourn and honor our dead? When I was young, it was traditional on certain holidays for my family to visit the graves of departed family members. We took freshly cut flowers from the garden, filled the cemetery-supplied vases with water, put…

I don’t want my heirs to have to deal with this question — I’m currently sorting through a lot of possessions passed down from family members who lived before us. Many are photos of people I’ve never met whose names I don’t even know. Some are in elaborate frames. What do I do with them? …

A poem and reflection on my first meeting with a mortician in a mortuary — The Mortician When Dad died, I met my first mortician professionally. He gathered all the vital facts for the death certificate and obituary. He competently helped with necessary details. Then he ushered us into a room where his wares were on display. His wares were coffins — caskets of many materials and…

[TW: SI, mention of su*c*de We didn’t realize you had come to say a last goodbye. A Surprise Visit When our close friend Rich came to visit us that night, it was unexpected. It was Tuesday. We normally got together on Friday nights for dinner, Bible study, conversation, laughter, and just being together. For several years we had done this, and Rich was like…

Parents may have to decide whether to allow a teen to make a decision when head and gut feelings don’t agree and all the risk factors aren’t known — A tragic death The mood was somber. Our family had just attended the memorial service for the 16-year-old son of friends. Our son Jason and the family’s younger son were playmates. …

The personal stories of three who made the choice to die — [TW: SI, mention of suicide, child sexual abuse, incest] Why Do People Choose to Die? I have had close relationships with three people who have died by suicide: a neighbor, a close family friend, and my estranged adult adopted daughter. Each made the choice to die for a different and very personal reason. I was personally…

God heals the broken-hearted who bring their broken hearts to Him — God knows how to heal the hurts we bring to Him I have to credit Bett Harris for inspiring me to write this article. When the Waters Stir Be the First to Get In Life lessons on being prepared for when the time comesmedium.com In it she says As time passes, what we remember are not the hard times, or the bad times, or even the sad times. What we remember are the good times and the important times. Our psyche…

How quickly irritation can turn to compassion — The call How quickly one’s mood can change. When I got a Facebook message from my friend Beth asking me to call using the green photo button, I was in the middle of two other projects and really didn’t have time to talk. Beth had never called me from Wyoming before. …

One sunny afternoon about 37 years ago, I was weeding my front flower bed when a scrawny little boy appeared next to me. Since he was a new face in my neighborhood, I suspected he was a recently placed foster child who lived next door. …

There’s no good way to lose your son. God knew that better than anyone — Setting the stage A friend’s teen son had died in a car accident a week before. Our entire church was in shock. All parents felt it and held their sons closer. …

Jason seemed to have an invisible sign around his neck that said, “Love me.” Maybe that’s why I did I first met Jason while I was weeding a flower bed in my front yard in the late afternoon. …

If he hadn’t graduated to Heaven we’d be celebrating his 42nd birthday — No more birthday parties to plan I confess, one of my least favorite parts of parenting was planning birthday parties. The first birthday party for Jason I attended was not one I planned. My next door neighbor planned it. She was Jason’s foster mom. She invited us so we could meet Jason’s sister Sarah in a…

I could not control death, but perhaps I could regain control of the garden — My Neglected Garden Mom had planted a beautiful rose garden in her backyard. It was sad that she died in March 2005 just before she could see it bloom once more. I inherited it, along with her house in Paso Robles. It bloomed for me not long after she died. Fortunately, she had…

I mourned the loss of a mature tree and discovered a small tree of mourning — Tree Down The house was warm; the background television noise was stressing me. I needed to get out. The sun would soon be gone. So off I went the two blocks to the park. I actually had a mission. A couple of weeks ago I had reported to the park maintenance office…